I am participating in Seth Apter’s Buried Treasure Post: The premise is simple. On Wednesday, June 12th all participating bloggers will re-post one (or more) of their favorite posts that ever appeared on their blog.
I believe in synchronicity, which is why I chose these two post from just overt 5 years ago. I seem to be mirroring the same thoughts and feelings about my art now that were exactly in my heart then, when my blog was called My Art Heart. Perhaps that is a sign to again turn to and listen to my art heart. I’ve been blogging since December 2005, which seems like a lifetime ago.
MORE ART ALREADY! May 28, 2008
The general consensus has been that you all want to see more art. I agree, I want to see more too. I want to see it pouring out of my hands, paint and fabric flying, colors lighting up the sky, work that makes my own heart swoon. But alas, it’s the art of mothering, or actually grandmothering that I’m wrapped up in right now. But I am counting down the days…just 4 more weeks! One thing I am able to do in short spurts or while entertaining Riley at my side (she LOVES attention, like any almost 4 month old does), is clean, sort, file, organize and when she sleeps, read.
One of the things I came upon this week was a file of color copies of the pages I created in everyone else’s Alphabetica journals. Do you have the book? It is a true visual feast but it contains only a small fraction of the over 200 works of art created by the 14 participating artists. This is the page I did for Karen Michel’s book. Simple, classy lines, texture, color, image. It was one of my favorites. It was done for my first collaboration. I was petrified! It was with the True Colors artists, would I measure up? And look at it, I love that page!
Diving even deeper into the stacks, the layers and layers of papers, folders, notebooks, flotsam & jetsam, that piled up so quickly while I was off gallivanting all over the country spreading the word, the art word that is, was another rare collection of images. I found a fat folder of copies of my first Fragments. What struck me were their freshness, the looseness of them. They looked so very joyful – the creation of someone who had finally found a source of expression.
I am reading Thomas Moore’s wonderful new book, A Life at Work. I get shivers every time two things coincide in my life, a divine intervention, a colliding of seemingly unrelated activities that combine to bring that sweet taste of wisdom. “A calling is the sense that you are on this earth for a reason, that you have a destiny, no matter how great or small…A calling is the sensation or intuition that life wants something from you.”
Here is what I had read the night before, “Up until now, I felt I was waiting harder. I have always had this feeling that there was something I was supposed to be doing, something significant, my creative purpose. I read, took classes, I thought deep thoughts. And it was hard waiting, because I wanted to know. But life reveals itself on its own schedule. It wasn’t my time yet. But now all my preparation has paid off. My impatient waiting time is over. My creativity is spilling over. The time is now.”
The first quote was by Thomas Moore, the second, my own words. What only a handful of people know (if they even remember), is that when I originally started making Fragments, each one came with a short narrative, a verbal Fragment. I really wanted people to read the words more than see the art, but I figured no one would be interested in my words unless I first caught their attention some other way, with pretty colors, textures and images.
Those were the words on the back of the large green Fragment you see here. The quote on the Fragment reads “It’s just that it’s not quite time to write them…What shall I do while I’m waiting?…Wait harder, it said.” written by James Hillman, author of The Soul’s Code: In Search of Character and Calling . The Fragment and quote are circa 1999. Now, almost 10 years later, after finding and living my calling, I am back examining my calling. But according to Thomas Moore, that is exactly what I should be doing, and that’s great news.
Back in 1999 I never dreamed that my words would be as popular as my art. This whole blog phenomenon has enabled women to share their voices, their words. It has connected us as never before. And we are listening. But just as I suspected back in 1999, people want to see the artwork too.
The story continues in this post from May 29, 2008
In a continuing effort to bring you more art, here again is another 1999 Fragment. On the back I have written: OK, I’ve been working (playing) at writing down these thoughts about each Fragment and I’ve just had a really moving revelation. I still can’t put it into words yet, but something important is happening during this process. Strangely enough, this physical feeling occurred inside right before I laid eyes on this piece and when I saw it, it really expressed visually what I was feeling at that moment. I may need to keep this one. It may have more to say.
Now, almost 10 years later, I know what that feeling was. I know what this Fragment was trying to tell me. I had found my voice. I had found what I had been searching for for over 40 years and it was staring me in the face. I had created what was in my soul.
Now, after 10 years, this voice wearies, has grown hoarse and weak. I still love what it says but I am ready for more. I know that it will not take another 40 years for my voice to emerge again, but it does take time. I think I am doing exactly what needs to be done ~ even the cleaning. The process of finding and going through and sorting the accumulations of the past 10 years, the notes, ideas, journals, art and materials that have accompanied me on my journey is for sure a step on the way to my next revelation. These revelations don’t come to you if you just sit and wait for them. As I have known all along, you must keep moving, taking the next step, even though you do not know why or where it leads.
I am making some major changes in my life. Actually the changes are exactly what I wrote down as goals to achieve, changes that I wanted to occur. But the changes will occur in a completely different manor than I thought. Rule #1, be very, very specific in saying/visualizing what you want.
What I find amazing is how much the 1999 Fragments echo the journey I am on now. Looking them over is like reading a guidebook, a trusted guidebook. “Will you choose Door #1, Door #2 or Door #3? It’s a scary decision. Choosing the wrong door could limit your future options, take you down a path you don’t really want to go. But what if you could open every door? Unlimited options, unending possibilities. Unless you really are a game show contestant, there is no one stopping you from opening every door you come to. And you have every right to explore what you find behind each and every door.
Do you? Do you open every door? Leave a comment and let me know. Have you stopped opening doors, looking for new experiences? I have always opened every door. Most of the time I can look right inside and tell I don’t need to go there. But I have to open them all to know. I’ve always been open to new experiences, new ideas. I love coming across new doors to open. I will always seek them out.
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