Lesley Riley | Fabricologie

You Talking to Me? (Remember the granddaughter born on my birthday last November?)

This post is brought to you by the gentle nudging of a faithful reader, Laura Lea, who wrote today, “I just am writing to say I’ve missed your blog and sending my best wishes to you. I do this every so often when you cocoon or retreat.” (Thanks, Laura Lea)

I WISH I was cocooning or retreating. It’s simply a case of biting off more than one woman can chew and having it come back to bite me in the a$#. Oops, did I say that? I am sure you can relate. It’s not uncommon, that I do know.

Part of me thinks I don’t work as fast as I used to because I am older now than i was 10 years ago when I started all this, but naw – that’s not it -  because I’m not old! I truly have taken on too much over the past few months. It’s all good, but I am constantly on the go from one thing to the next:

2 online creativity coaching classes + homework
coaching several artists
writing another book for C&T
family, family, family
and a trip to LA to meet with my new coach and mentor, Fabienne Frederickson

I started following Fabienne to learn about marketing and fell in love with her emphasis on mindset and living your passion. I’ll be working with her and her team over the next year to learn how to bring you the best me I have to offer.

There are lots of changes here in what used to be called LaLasLand (my first website). The big news is that, as of June 1st, my publisher,  C&T, will be handling all the packaging and distribution of TAP. It will have a whole new (more professional) look but will be the same wonderful product we all love. I’m still taking orders through my website up until May 31st. Last chance to support your fellow artist!

It has been exciting to introduce a product to the world and grow a business. I’ve had customers from as far away as Greece, Australia and Denmark and have been introduced to many, many wonderful, talented people along the way. It’s also exciting to turn over the keys to the business, so to speak, and follow my heart to the next big adventure. The more I learn, the more I want to share with you. I’m bursting with excitement over my new path, but am just not ready to share it all quite yet. I hope you will bear with me a little longer while I get it polished, packaged and perfected.

I’m an artist and as you well know, an artist doesn’t like to show her work until it’s done. Nor would I want to offer anything half-a$#ed (there’s that word again!) to all of you who have come to know and trust me. I hate not telling you all about it right now, but like I said, I don’t show unfinished art.

Let me just say this…

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

What I am doing is scary. It’s taking a leap and having faith that you’ll have a safe landing. It’s trusting my gut. It’s doing it because I have to, in the same way that I have to make art. Ten years ago, when I ‘went public’ with my art and began teaching, it was because I felt what Anais Nin felt – “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” I’m at that juncture again. The plant keeps growing. New buds have formed and it’s time to blossom again.

Have you taken a scary leap too? Will you be there for me as I take my next step, this humongous leap? I’d love to hear your story or comment.

I have a backlog of things to share with you. From New Zealand to my own backyard. Where just until a few minutes ago I was sitting, basking in the 85 degree spring sunshine and gentle breeze. Spring has almost turned to summer here, if only for a few days. It will get cooler again, it will rain. And when the warmth returns, most likely the humidity will come with it.  DC humidity is legendary. When I was in New Zealand, my some of my students commented on how humid it was. It was January, summer down there. “Humid?” I questioned, “you don’t know humid!” As with everything else, it’s all relative.

Putting things into perspective

It’s important to remember that everything is relative. It helps to put things in perspective. Perspective: noun;the faculty of seeing all the relevant data in a meaningful relationship. All too often we get stuck in our own heads with worry or fear or what-have-you.

One trick that has served me well over the years is to take my problem and put it up against anything that’s been in the news. The news is all about problems, small but newsworthy ones, big ones, huge ones, catastrophic ones. I don’t need to list any here. Sadly, you can come up with at least 5 right now, can’t you?

How does my problem, my fear, compare to what those people are going through? Small potatoes. Tiny. Right away I feel gratitude for my life as it is. There’s no way I can obsess or wallow in my own self-pity or fear. Putting things into perspective  empowers me to move on. Because I can. I can change whatever is bothering me while so many others cannot. And if I cannot change a situation, I can always change my attitude towards it.

What’s your solution for getting yourself out of your head-talk?

Here are a few of the things that have been piling up on my blog to-do list:

Text Textile

I wanted to share this scarf with you. Isn’t it gorgeous? I feel like a proud mama because I taught Lorri Scott how to do the writing on the silk scarf in my Image + Text = Textile class at An Artful Journey back in February. A technique that has allowed her to move into a whole new direction with her hand-dyed silk textiles. You can see more here or even buy one yourself!…or silk ribbon with text. It takes the term texting to a whole new level.

Speaking of texting, who is going to get the new Apple iPad? I am giving it serious consideration.  Especially after reading this post.

Wendy & Wendy. Wendy Cooper is on the right. Look closely at those chairs. I felt like Alice in Wonderland at The Old Church Resataurant & Bar in Hawkes Bay New Zealand. Yes, it's a converted church. www.theoldchurch.co.nz for more info. If you're in the area you MUST go.

Another thing of beauty I’d like to share is the new blog of my dear New Zealand friend, Wendy Cooper. While I was there in January, I convinced her to start a blog. She worried that she wasn’t very tech savvy. Well let me tell you, it’s fantastic. Go take a look. I’ll wait.  She is a gifted photographer and writer. I just went there today and the photo of her overflowing bookcase brought me right back to the hours I spent sitting on that sofa reading through her book and magazine collection. We share a similar esthetic sense. I wish I were there right now. Wendy started the blog to connect with other like minded artists  in NZ and beyond. Are you one of them?

I’ll close with a photo I cannot resist sharing. Here are my triplet granddaughters. They’re not really triplets, they are  cousins, each one a year younger than the other, but they are all almost the same size. Last year they wore winter coats for the Easter egg hunt. This year we had a most beautiful day. Beautiful weather, beautiful girls.

Riley 2, Julia 3, Kathryn 4. Well almost 3&4. They both share the same birthday, June 22.

F

Sitting on the base of a redwood tree

First off – thanks to everyone who commented on my last post. Those comments, along with some direct emails, were comforting and made me smile. It was enlightening too, to hear that so many others were hitting walls too. Was there something going on with the misalignment of planets? Or all we all very driven women trying to be all things to all people, projects and problems? Must we always be experiencing the rush of the roller-coaster?

The nice thing about life is that it is a roller-coaster. How can you enjoy the highs unless you hit the lows? How can you tell it’s a low unless you know what a high really feels like? After hitting my low, I have been traveling high these last  2 weeks.

Home of Jane Dunnewold's Art Cloth Studio, San Antonio, TX

I don’t claim to have the universal answer, but I know that things turned around for me for 2 reasons: 1) I stopped and pampered myself for a couple of days and 2) I resumed “life” with a new attitude – if it gets done, great; if not, there’s always tomorrow (aka – taking time to stop and smell the roses). It also helped that the sun shone all week and the temps climbed into the 70s. I spent more time outdoors. I felt alive.

Basically, I slowed down the pace of my life. When you are rushing and scrambling for so long, it become a habit, a mindset. Once I stopped (was forced to stop) I had more than a moment to think and I realized that right now, I no longer need to be rushing.

Yes, there will be deadlines again, trips to take, too many things on my plate at once, but I’ll be ready for it. I will be ready because I am building a new framework right now. I’ve got a new mindset, my studio/office is now clean, organized and ready for the next project, and I am eager to leap tall buildings in a single bound…make that projects…and make that one step after the other. No more trying to leap in single bounds. My goals will be reached by setting priorities, outlining the steps necessary to get from A to B and all the way to Z, and then taking the first step, followed by the next one and so on. Easy, schmeezy if you look at it that way.

So back to the highs,they are all happening in the public arean, so I’d like to share them with you ~

1. My book, Fabulous Fabric Art with Lutradur, is a finalist for Book of the Year! Winners will announced May 25, but whether I win or not, I am thrilled being a finalist (in the Craft & Hobbies category).

2) My studio/office will be featured in the next issue of The Professional Quilter magazine. Which led to….

a clean space for starting my next book

3) My studio/office is finally clean and organized after my whirlwind traveling schedule the first 2 months of 2010.

4) I’m starting my 4th book (and that’s all I can say about it.)

5) I got my webcam set up and working!!! in order to be a guest on Cool 2 Craft:

Cool to Craft Web TV

I hope you’ll join me. It’ll be my web TV debut and the first of many videos I hope to put online.

So there you have it. I’ve also got a few other things in the works. And if you want to be the first to know, sign up for my newsletter – see, right up there in the upper right corner of your screen. Remember, I am working on an exciting new project (besides the book) and newsletter subscribers will be the first in on it. That’s also where I announce TAP sales, giveaways, etc.

Oh! one more thing. I just listed 7 books on Amazon. Some are now out of print. All are offered at the lowest used price on Amazon. Click the links for more info and then go to the used book listings (my seller ID is LaLasLand). Email me with any questions.

Two sold already!

Crumbling Wall at Ursuline Convent/San Antonio School of Art & Craft

I finally did it. I hit a wall. I was almost at the point of crash and burn. A near miss you might say. I saw it coming and at the last minute avoided the disaster by ”taking to my bed,” as they used to say, at 3pm yesterday. I stayed put until I had the courage and energy to resurface. A mental and physical crisis that lasted all of 21 hours.  Maybe it was some 24 hr. bug, but I think it was overload and overwhelm pure and simple.

I have been traveling and teaching 4 out of the last 8 weeks and I believe it finally took it’s toll. I don’t know how so many people do it. Or do they? I did it, yes. I was present, involved, excited and enjoying every minute of every day I was on the go, but obviously I can only operate that way for so long. I need time away from the schedule, the deadlines and commitments and if I fail to give myself permission to stop, to hop off the merry-go-round of my life, then obviously my body will do it for me.

Hand of Mary Statue at the Presentation Center, Los Gatos CA, site of An Artful Journey

I am working my way back into the world slowly. My first act is this conversation with you. I am relaxed enough just to sit and talk right now – something I normally would put off because I had more pressing things to do.

But who made them pressing?
I did.

Whose fault is it that I am over-extended?
Mine.

Who is standing over me with a whip and a stop-watch?
Me.

Who can rescue me from it all?
Me.

I received Lisa Cherney’s newsletter today and it was as if the Universe sent it just for me. The topic? “Do you need quiet time?” The words that really resonated with me were, “your head and heart are often in conflict.” I know that’s what it is. What I want to do (my heart) is in conflict with what I have to do (my head). Now part of me says, “Lesley, how many people get to do what they want to do on a day-to-day basis?” And really, most of what I have to do has all come about because I am, after all, living the life of my dreams – being an artist, writing books, traveling the world, sharing my passion with other like-minded souls. I love every bit of it. So where is the conflict? What is it I want to be doing?

To Touch (ancient redwood)

I want to touch more people. To reach more women. I’ve got grand plans but no time to bring them to fruition. I do a bit of work on my dream everyday, but I’m getting impatient, frustrated. You see, most of the women I come in contact with already know the power of art. You appear in my class, you read my books, you visit my website  - all because you know there is magic in creating. But what about the other women out there who have not yet made the discovery? What about those who want to be an artist, or create, but lack the confidence, the courage or the know-how of where to begin. That was me, 20 years ago. Now I want to share what I have learned along the way. It’s why I began teaching. It’s who I am. It’s what I do.

Thankfully we now have access to so, so, much information on living the artful life through the Internet. But I see it every day – that’s not enough. This road we walk, the journey of being an artist is perhaps one of the hardest there is. For most professions, what they do is not who they are. A surgeon practices the art of medicine, but it is an art based on the exactness of science. A chef practices the art of cooking, but again, there are rules, structure.  They practice an art, but it is not what they are. When you are an artist, it is who you are. It is yourself there on the canvas, on the cloth, on the paper or in the metal. There is no separation. Do I have to tell you of the courage that takes, to confront yourself every day and put it out there for public approval or dismissal? Yet the need, the urge to create is so vital. Consider yourself lucky if you are in touch with it, because so many have buried it so over the years that when asked will swear they do not have a creative bone in their body. If my children, and now my grandchildren, have taught me anything, it is that we are born creators. It is as natural an act for a child as breathing or walking. Until life buries it.

Sisters~ Jillian & Julia, born to create

I want every woman to know that feeling again. And to have the confidence to pursue it. To give herself permission to create. To find the time to do so, to take the time to do so, to have the courage to do so. This is where my heart lies.

But it has to wait. To wait until I finish my next book. To wait until I get home from teaching classes. To wait until the taxes are done, until Dad’s DR visits are over, until I play with my granddaughters. To wait until I can build a strong framework, define and refine my message, and devise the delivery. I’m close, but it feels so far away, much like the unending 9 months (a blink of time) that it takes to birth another creative being. I feel gravid, heavy with an impending birth. I can’t speed it up because creating takes time and there are other children (tasks) that need my attention, children that I love and want to nourish. Children already here that I need to turn my full attention to so they can stand on their own and go out into the world with confidence.

It is time to shine my light

I know it’s time to shine my light, to follow my heart. It’s what I am meant to do. It is why, for years, I have, for years, had the following quotes front and center, where I can see them everyday. They are reminders of my purpose. My beacon, my guiding light~

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.  Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now. Goethe

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Marianne Williamson

Have I explained myself well? Do you understand what I am trying to say? Are you living the life you desire? Let me know…

Live Radio!

I know I’m way overdue on my blog posts. By the end of this week, I will have been away teaching for 4 of the last 8 weeks. Does that get me off the hook? 

This is a short note to let you know that I will be a featured guest on Inspired at Home Radio tomorrow, Sunday, February 28th at 7 PM EST. My topic is TAP, Transfer Artist Paper. It’s a live show tomorrow and you can interact and chat with me if you are online during the hour. If you miss the show, no worries – it’s also available anytime on host, Tiffany Windsor’s website.

I hope you can make it and I look forward to chatting with you.

Right Brain/ Left Brain Quiz The higher of these two numbers below indicates which side of your brain has dominance in your life. Realising your right brain/left brain tendancy will help you interact with and to understand others. Left Brain Dominance: (16) Right Brain Dominance: (16) Right Brain/ Left Brain Quiz

I am constantly struggling between my two selves – the whimsical, playful, artist and the oh-so logical, organizing, information junkie, flow-chart loving geek. There’s a constant dialogue going on in my head: Artist: Stop being so logical & literal.” Geek: “But will they understand it? Will it make sense to them?” I’m sure you’ve noticed how structured my work is.

Another way to look at it is I guess you could say I’m really well-balanced. Do I need to be one or the other? I’ve done pretty well being both, so I would say the answer is no, I don’t have to choose. Or play favorites. I just wish those 2 inner voices would stop vying for power and take turns nicely.

And no, I’m not spending my record-setting-DC-blizzard- afternoon taking silly quizzes on the internet. I was doing some scientific research on left/right brain. But who can resist a quiz? Can you? Which one are you? Anyone out there as well balanced as I am?

PS More New Zealand photos & stories still to come.

UPDATE:  So many people wrote to me saying they had the same score, so I took it again and purposely skewed it to try and come out left-brained. And I got the same answer! The test is either bogus or broken. So this time went in search of other tests on purpose and found one that seems accurate.

Thank you for taking the Creativity Test. The results show your brain dominance as being:

I’ll take that answer. I’m still pretty close and I know some days I’m even closer, or I take turns being one or the other. If you’re game, you can take the better test here .  

Red Shoe Installation "Townie" by Lauren Lysaght

Walk with me through the Brick Bay Sculpture Trail, located at the Brick Bay Winery in Warkworth, NZ. See, that’s what I love about NZ. In one place you can enjoy three pleasures, nature, art and wine. A feast for the eyes, heart and soul. Come on, there’s lots to see, over 50 art installations, native flora and fauna. You walk a mile that doesn’t seem like one, through meadow and forest, up hill and down and play hide & seek looking for the art.

Bottle Run by Judy Darragh. "Planted" empty wine bottles with red painted bases

Sometimes it was right under your feet:

Meteorol by Mary-Louise Browne. Bluestone steps play the game of changing one letter of each word per step - Mist to Rain. Can you figure it out?

Buddha Bell by Phil Neary (cedar, bronze, stainless steel)

I loved the Buddha Bell, probably because so many of my friends call me the Buddha – (no, not because of the belly, silly,  but because they think I am wise)

Flotsam by Jeff Thomson. Colorful corrugated iron floating in the lily pond

By far my favorite were the colorful, discarded pieces of corrugated iron, a common roofing material in NZ. The curled iron floats gracefully at the whim of wind and water and is an hypnotic sight. I could have lingered there all day.

The beauty in the contrast of hard and soft.

This walk through the sculpture garden and my trip to New Zealand was brought to you by Leanne Rogerson. She had a dream and she made it happen. Never underestimate the power of an artist seeking techniques!

Leanne reflected in the beautiful tiled cafe wall

She made it happen, not just for herself but also for the 22 students who were also looking for inspiration and ideas. US magazines are 3x the cost there – the same for books (+ high shipping), if they can even get them. Art conferences like Art & Soul and Artfest are few and far between, if at all. Their small country and wee population (4.2 million, compared to 8.3 million in NYC alone!) are what attracts me to this beautiful island, but it can be quite a disadvantage when you hunger for new things. It does make for some beautiful art though, as seen above. And NZ is a mecca for independant clothing designers. It seems as if there is at least one in every town as well as some with shops all over NZ.  But I digress.

My students. Each one brought her own talents and sensibility to the table. All were a joy. I hope I gave them as much as they gave me. The fun atmophere in the class was heightened by the bright, sunny classroom with windowed walls on both sides, color and art and well-used supplies hiding in every corner. Leanne had found was an intermediate school art classroom for us to play in for the 4 days. (NZ schools were on summer break.)

How to Grow Wings class

Sew What???? class

Fragment Fabric Collage class

Quilted Memories class

There are still more NZ stories to come. And I am still snowbound by the 27″ of snow dropped on us. We’re all beginning to dig out and many are without power, including my in-laws, who were rescued by my brother-in-law with a big honkin’ 4-wheel drive – the only thing getting around right now.  I have been jumping between art and blogging, reading and washing. How’s that for a snow day? Schools have already announced they will be closed Mon & Tues, but wait! There’s 2-6 more inches on the way Tuesday night! Yes, this is a record snowfall.  If another 1/2″ falls, we will move to #2 of all-time snowiest winters in DC. We are not aiming for #1 – that was 54″ in the winter of 1898/99.

Contrast this scene, taken 3 weeks ago:

Orewa Beach, Auckland, New Zealand 1/13/10

with this one, taken this morning:

The view from my front door, Bethesda, MD 2/6/10

And tell me – where would you rather be? I love the contrast. I love being snowbound here with my family. I love the warm summer days of New Zealand and the friends there who feel like family. I won’t choose between the two. I am just blessed that I have a life in which I can experience these extremes, the best of both worlds.

New Zealand~ where do I begin? How much do you care to hear, want to see? There are things that can only be experienced first hand, feelings that words do not do justice to. How can I convey the thrill I felt at seeing the biggest rainbow of my life, arcing miles across the open landscape, end to end, brilliant and clear, unlike any I have ever seen. With the weather we had driving back from Hawkes Bay to Morrinsville, I knew there had to be one somewhere. The sky ahead looked like this:

Foreboding sky near Morrinsville, NZ

Glorious rainbow in the Waikato Valley.

I turned my head and there it was, behind me. We were anxious to get home, so figuring out how to capture in a photo a rainbow from end-to-end didn’t even cross my mind. I don’t need it anyway. It’s burned into my memory, never to be forgotten. Some experiences are best kept that way.

New Zealand is known as the land of the long white clouds, thanks to its early Polynesian settlers. The air there is so clear, the landscape so majestic and wide open, from mountain to valley and back to maountains again.  And you are never far from water. Coming from the city, where views are obsructed and the air is not so pure, I am particularly drawn to the sky in this beautiful country. It changes more often than you change your clothes.

Long white cloud view from my hotel (The Spencer on Byron) balcony in Takapuna the day I arrived in New Zealand.

Pink dusk sky days later. Hauraki Gulf

And this - the morning mist rising above Te Mata Peak - "The Sleeping Giant"

That photo was taken at Raratu Lodge in Hawkes Bay,  an idyllic setting in the hills above the Tuki Tuki River, not far from the historic art-deco town of Napier, on the eastern Pacific coast of the north island. I spent 2 nights there with the best hostess and tour guide in New Zealand, Wendy Cooper (more about her later – I’m talking skies now.)

Sunset at Raratu Lodge. See the thumbnail moon?

The beach at Napier, where the color of the ocean almost matches the sky.

Tomorrow I’ll still be snowed in and will continue my travelogue from a more “down-to-earth” point of view and introduce you to the woman that made all of this possible as well as my wonderful students.